Songs That Say Goodbye
by cheesebucket
Summary: Rachel is too selfish to be in a relationship. Too bad she's dating Finn.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or anything related to it. Clearly.**

**Story Notes: This story is inspired by the Schuyler Fisk song, "Songs That Say Goodbye." I made a little reference to the show What I Like About You at the end. **

**.com/watch?v=KnakAJwprb4 (I know this is a Brucas fan vid, but it's the only video I can find with the song in it.)**

She takes a deep breath before lifting her fist to knock on the door. She curses herself for shaking so badly and decides to shove her hands into the kangaroo pocket of her sweater as she waits. She remembers the first time she ever came here: he'd invited her over to work on some songs for glee. That was the first time he'd kissed her (and not been cheating), and he asked her to be his girlfriend. She was nearly positive, at the time, that she could never be as happy as she was at that moment.

Now, standing here just as nervous as she was those months ago, she can't imagine _not_ being here, _not_ taking care of this now. He opens the door and grins down at her, leaning in to slant his lips over hers. She forces herself not to pull back immediately and instead closes her eyes and tries to relive the feeling she used to get when he kissed her. Feeling nothing, she pulls back and gives him a weak smile. _God, he doesn't suspect a thing. That's going to make it so much worse._

He ushers her inside, mentioning his mom being at work, and offers her something to drink. "No, I actually can't stay long." She turns and looks straight up at him. "Can we talk, Finn?"

His eyebrow knit together in confusion but he nods as she gently guides him toward the couch. She sits down and crosses one leg over the other, fussing with the hem of her skirt as he plops down next to her and brushes her hair out of her face. "Rach, what's going on? Are you alright?" She closes her eyes for a moment, gathering the courage to say what she's about to say. When she looks back up at him, his eyes are full of concern and it breaks her heart. "I wish there was an easy way to say this."

Swallowing hard, his eyes dart away from hers. _This isn't going to be good. Whatever she's about to say, I don't want to hear it._ "Just say it, Rachel." She stares at the couch cushion, running her nails along the lines in the upholstery. "This has been weighing on my mind for a few weeks, Finn. I… I just don't think I'm the one for you." He sucks in a breath as he feels his chest tighten.

"What are you talking about? You're _perfect_, babe. I love you, Rachel. I… I thought you were going to be able to say it back soon…"

She reaches to grip his hand, looking pleadingly into his eyes. "No, no, I… I want to be able to. You make me want to. But I really, truly just cannot. I know it sounds crazy, but I feel completely ill-equipped to be in a relationship right now, Finn." He scrubs his free hand down his face, taking deep breaths.

"You… you're not ready to be in a relationship, or you're not ready to be in a relationship with _me_, Rach?" She frowns, shaking her head. "No, Finn, I mean it. I'm too selfish. I can't handle taking on the needs of a significant other. You've made me feel so… safe. I would never want to hurt you."

He nods slowly, still avoiding her gaze. "I guess I get that. Being your boyfriend is kind of… hard work." He flashes her his goofy smile that always made her melt but now she just smiles sweetly in response. "I know. I'm so very sorry, and I want you to know you did _everything_ right. I have no regrets, Finn. I wouldn't take back our time together for anything."

She hesitates for a moment before leaning up and pressing a light kiss to his cheek. His jaw clenches slightly but he nods as he stands up and leads her back to the door. She bites her lip as she looks up at him. "This feels like goodbye…"

With a genuine smile, he puts his hand on her shoulder. "Remember when we sang 'Hello, Goodbye'? That song said goodbye, but it ended with hello. So this is like a song, Rach." Her face lights up at his words, and she nods quickly. "You're absolutely right, Finn. You're going to make some girl so happy someday, and she's going to make you feel better than I ever did."

He smirks down at her. "Is she going to want to have sex?" She laughs, bobbing her head up and down. "Tons." With that, he bends over to hug her. He inhales the scent of her hair as she savors the feeling of him around her. Then he opens the door and she disappears into the night, humming The Beatles to herself.


End file.
